• Supporting someone struggling with Infertility can be a confusing and uncertain time. This can be a very private time for a couple but if they have confided this in you, they have already decided you can support them.



    I would like to offer some Do's and Don'ts for you to consider if someone you care about is struggling. This is based on my experience of women and men I have seen throughout my career. When you are supporting someone who is struggling your intentions are almost always good but it may be important to consider the points made in the don't section.



    <strong>Do</strong>

    <ul>

        <li><strong>Inform yourself</strong> about Infertility and any treatments they may be engaging in.</li>

        <li>Ask if they need <strong>practical help</strong></li>

        <li><strong>Encourage therapy </strong>if you feel they need extra support or the persons life has changed dramatically</li>

        <li><strong>Let them know</strong> if you get pregnant through phone or email.</li>

        <li>Respect their <strong>privacy</strong></li>

        <li><strong>Offer to exercise</strong> with them, if they are trying to lose weight</li>

        <li>If you have said the wrong thing and they are offended <strong>apologise</strong></li>

        <li><strong>Be gentle on yourself</strong> if you say the wrong thing, you can’t know the right thing to say all of the time.</li>

    </ul>

    <strong>Don’t</strong>

    <ul>

        <li><strong>Think you can’t support them </strong>because you have no experience of this.</li>

        <li>Tell them to <strong>relax</strong></li>

        <li>Don’t <strong>minimize the problem </strong></li>

        <li><strong>Assume it’s the women</strong> whom is infertile</li>

        <li><strong>Ask which party</strong> in the couple is infertile</li>

        <li>Ask why they have not looked <strong>at other avenues</strong> for building a family</li>

        <li><strong>Make jokes</strong> about the situation</li>

        <li>Say <strong>“you already have a healthy child”.</strong></li>

        <li>Say <strong>“it could be worse”</strong></li>

        <li>Say <strong>“don’t give up it will happen”.</strong></li>

        <li>Say <strong>how lucky they are not to have children</strong> and how easy there lives are.</li>

        <li>Imply they are not <strong>trying hard enough.</strong></li>

        <li><strong>Push Lifestyle changes</strong></li>

        <li><strong>Continously ask if they are pregnant </strong>yet</li>

    </ul>